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Sent: Friday, December 10, 2004
Subject: Let the Season be Your Reason... Season's Greetings :)

In this Ordinary Newsletter...
1. Let the Season be Your Reason!
2. Lubrication for Conversation -- Party December 11 & 18
3. Other Articles about the Holiday Season
4. Give the Gift of Communication ~ "A Dictionary of Distinctions"

"If you want to learn to love better,
you should start with a friend who you hate."
- Nikka, age 6 (from Kids Say What Love Is)
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Let the Season be Your Reason!

I’m sitting on the subway across from a beautiful woman... I want to strike up a conversation, but my fears get the best of me. Then, this beautiful woman starts up a conversation with another person on the subway who is also a stranger to her (I eavesdropped on their conversation). Now I knew that she was, at least, a person open to having conversations with strangers (a "stranger talker"). Since she was a stranger talker, I knew I didn't have any excuse to remain silent.

Their conversation ended, and I started calming my nerves to initiate something with this woman. Noticing she was reading a book, I said: "Do you use bookmarks?" She replied "Yes!" with astonishment and added "but I don't have any with me today." Thanking God that I was an author who carried my own bookmarks, I presented her with one of mine and said "Here you go." Suddenly, we arrived at my subway station and I had to quickly depart the train!

Did you ever wish that you had started a conversation with a stranger, only to procrastinate and miss your opportunity? Have you ever had an interesting conversation with a stranger? Were you ever surprised to notice how well a conversation with a stranger was going? Deep down inside, do you have a hidden passion to be more of a stranger talker?

It can be a lot easier to start up a conversation during the festive season. We can talk about holiday shopping, visiting families or attending parties. How about the simple question, "Are you doing anything special over the holidays?" Or, we can even discuss how this season has become popularized to a point where every company and every newsletter has got to mention something about it! :)

In the true spirit of the holidays, haven't you noticed that people tend to be more cheerful and radiant? We can say hello to a stranger and not worry about being ignored or rejected. So, let this season be your reason for love in your life. Be a stranger talker. Take the initiative to be with strangers, to make a connection, and to experience more love.

I want to thank everyone for looking, listening, and being with my LOVE movie (a 3-minute animation titled "What Is Love?"). Because you took the time to share the message with your loved ones, you caused the love to spread into more than 70 countries around the world! If you enjoyed receiving the movie, let this time of year give you permission to let the people in your life know how much they mean to you. Here’s the link: http://www.ordinarywords.com/love

On behalf of everyone at Ordinary Words, I would like to wish you and your loved ones a magical and miraculous holiday season. And, if any of you are in -- or are going to be in -- the Toronto area, come celebrate with us at our Saturday night DECIDE parties (details below).

Love & God Bless,
[)anish /|hmed

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas
if you stop opening presents and listen."
- Bobby, age 5 (from Kids Say What Love Is)
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Lubrication for Conversation
The DECIDE Play/Party

Celebrate the season with us! Connect with positive, open, welcoming people at a party that simply rocks the house!

DECIDE Saturday, December 11 & Saturday, December 18, 2004
721 Queen St. West (1 block west of Bathurst), Toronto, Canada
7:30 PM Doors Open, 8:00 PM Show Starts, 10:00 PM Party Begins

Cost: Ordinary Words Special -- $15, includes complimentary cocktail
(Use password "Ordinary" otherwise you'll pay the regular $20)
There is no charge for the evening, if you arrive after 10 PM.

RSVP: rsvp@decideshow.com or call 416-703-9696
More Info: http://www.ordinarywords.com/decide.html

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"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it.
But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
- Jessica, age 8 (from Kids Say What Love Is)
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Other Articles about the Holiday Season

'Tis the Season to Give -- 7 Different Ways!!

The first thing we may think of when we think of giving, is money (or gifts and presents which cost money). However, some of us may feel financially constrained . . . The second thing we may think of when we think of giving, is our time. With fast-paced lifestyles and busy schedules, perhaps that's a tall order, too. But wait! There are so many different ways to give. Don't think we need only time and money to make a difference. Here are five additional ways in which we can all give this holiday season:

1. Giving of our Space

This could be giving a seat on a bus or letting someone go ahead of us in a lineup. This could be opening our doors and inviting our neighbors into our homes. Or, we could simply be generous in giving people the space to be whoever they want to be. Let's not judge others so quickly; let's increase our level of acceptance.

2. Giving of our Heart

Take the time to really listen to someone. Feel what they are feeling. Understand who they are and why they are who they are. Let's really put ourselves in their shoes.

3. Giving of our Soul

This is giving of ourselves at a spiritual level. It may be in the form of praying for somebody. It may involve meditating on helping someone else and uncovering solutions to their problems. Or, it can simply be sending off positive energy vibes.

4. Giving of our Spirit

This is giving without reason and giving without any conditions, attachments or expectations. But what are we giving? Smiles, hugs, and compliments. It is giving joyfully with enthusiasm. When combined with giving money or time, it is giving without ever having any worry as to whether our gift will be mismanaged or misused.

5. Giving of our Being

Giving of ourselves completely is giving 100% of ourselves. What does this look like? It can look like anything . . . Recipients see it as empathy, compassion, and love.

This holiday season, let's experiment with different ways of giving. Different things work for different people, so let's give in ways that will be meaningful to others.

Don't Get the Holiday Blues
~ Learn to deal with some holiday hang-ups

It's that time of year where people are more cheerful, helpful, and caring. What a magical experience when so many of us radiate warmth and harmony . . . But amongst the celebrations, there are invariably some individuals who will go through rough moments. Maybe we will go through our own rough moments. How will we get through our challenges? First, let's figure out what kind of challenge we have. This helps us to take actions that make lasting change.

Are you stressed?

Perhaps you're the type of person who finds yourself very busy in this season. Your business may pull in more customers during this time, you may be going to many more social events, and you may be trying to host a bunch of relatives visiting from out of town, too. All this can get very hectic!

One of the natural ways to alleviate stress is to do relaxing things like taking a walk or watching a movie. Although these activities are sometimes helpful, our minds may continue to "think" -- we continue talking to ourselves about our stresses when we're walking, or we tend to find things in the movie that remind us of our stresses. In essence, we continue to stress ourselves out, trying to relax.

What we may want to do are activities that force our bodies to be active, allowing our minds to rest and NOT think at all. For example, exercise, sports, theatrical acting, and playing a musical instrument are all good activities that allow us to be in the moment. These activities allow us to focus on the task at hand, and consequently, put our stresses to "sleep." Now, our subconscious minds are able to tackle some of the problems we may have been facing. And, our subconscious minds may even come up with solutions without any of our conscious effort. What power!

Are you depressed?

For some people, the holidays can become a reminder of a lost friend, a distant family, or a confused faith. Maybe it doesn't feel right to be "cheery" when we see so much harm, cruelty, and injustice in the world. Perhaps, as we start to reflect on our past year, we feel the pain of disappointments and see the shadows of unfulfilled dreams.

No, positive thinking isn't the answer. The holidays are usually a very emotional time for people, having associated deep or unconscious memories of early childhood. Using logic to change our momentary thinking may not work.

I strongly recommend a book called "Hope & Heroes: Portraits of Integrity & Inspiration." It's all about people who have overcome great adversities and have made our world a better place. Some people we may recognize, like Nelson Mandela and Arun Gandhi (the grandson of Mahatma Gandhi). Some people are amazing activists who we may not recognize, like Julia Butterfly Hill. Julia spent over two years living in a tree -- literally -- as a protest to clear-cut logging. From a radio-powered phone, Julia spoke to the media and gave talks at various conferences!

These stories are fascinating, unique, and emotional. They have inspired me, having me realize that those who help transform our world aren't necessarily well known people. In fact, there are so many people, groups, and communities out there that are literally transforming our consciousness and creating a higher level of evolution. Learn more about Hope & Heroes at http://www.barryshainbaum.com.

Are you bored?

This will relate to the younger readers of this e-zine. Or, if you're a parent, perhaps you've noticed your child has more time on their hands than they know what to do with. There's no school, the weather may make it tough to visit friends, and T.V. just has all the same Christmas-specials from last year!

I've been bored out of mind, so I know what it's like. Don't tell me, "Oh I can think of LOTS of things you can do . . ." That's not the point. Being bored isn't about not having anything to do. Being bored is not being able to find satisfaction in doing anything. We can be doing something, and still have a feeling of boredom.

I find the best remedy for boredom is to employ a sense of contribution. Put your thoughts on helping other people. Is there something a family member needed help with that you could now assist them with? How about volunteering for a charity or cause that you believe in? It doesn't have to be anything structured - what about going to our local park and clearing away liter?

Right now, I'm working on a project with several organizations to raise money for AIDS orphans in Africa. When we try to get rid of boredom by doing an activity, we naturally focus on ourselves and our boredom. On the other hand, when we put our focus on other people, the boredom goes away automatically. It's impossible to feel unfulfilled when we're helping somebody else.

How are you?

We all have times when we don't feel good. In this intense festive season, we may try a quick-fix to jolt ourselves out of our negative state. Or, we may feel stuck and unable to change. Let's stop and ask ourselves, "What am I feeling -- really?" Uncovering our feelings and getting to the core of our being, is what helps us to transcend ourselves into happier, healthier, people.
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This Holiday Season . . .
Give the Gift of Communication
~ Who would enjoy a copy of my best-selling book, "A Dictionary of Distinctions" ?

1. People who like words.

Hey, the book is all about words. Those who like words may be teachers, writers, librarians, poets, artists, or somebody who does any sort of marketing.

2. People who like to be more.

Yes, the book is about personal development, empowerment and transformation. People who like to be more include coaches, parents, trainers, entrepreneurs, investors, and anyone who's been in the self-help section of a bookstore.

3. People who like short stories.

With two-to-three page chapters, it's an easy read, indeed! Who likes short stories? Children, teenagers, seniors, or anyone else who has read Chicken Soup for the Soul.

"A Dictionary of Distinctions" is available at many book retailers, including Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com, Indigo, Smith Books, and Coles.

Order the book online at Chapters: Click Here

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